The thought of you sprang into my mind today, stealthy, like a cat. It stalked my heart like prey, and pounced when I wasn’t looking. I send love and warm snugglies into the sky and wave them off in your direction. I hope they find you when you need them the most.
It’s been so long, it seems, so long ago I first gazed upwards and my breath was taken from me by a gloved thief, adorned she was, with the icy fire of diamonds in her eyes and the smooth glowing pearls of her smile. She wrapped her shawl about my shoulders on that hot and perspired night there on the hill. It felt like a breeze, it did. Silken and cool. The molten lead lake yawned and stretched out at my feet, and the sugar fairies danced a twinkling gay ballet. The music was in the shine of the moon, the melody itself raining down like coins on the silver path he threw down before me. I felt you near then. I knew you were beside me in another slice of time. I held your hand even so and we marveled at the thick midnight blue velvet sky like the very fabric of space between us. We stayed as long as we could. We stayed until the lights went out and the gray roses of morning began to bloom. Barefoot I could feel the chilled tears of the night beneath my stride as I returned alone, but not without you. That night was painted onto the canvas of my soul and I have long admired it every day since. I looked into the sky this eve and my breath was stolen once more. Like the raven hair of a spanish dancer, I felt you brush by me, your fingers like satin ribbons upon my cheek. The candle flickered but once and you vanished like the mist on the rising heat of it’s flame.
Gah. It’s just two days into the new year and already, I am bored out of my mind. The rain is coming down outside, and it’s “cold” by Southern California standards. Everyone I call isn’t answering, the blogs I follow have no new posts and no new comments. It’s like everything and everyone has slowed to a halt in the thick slurry of after-holiday doldrums. Usually, my phone is blowing up with phone calls and texts messages. Not today. People are grumpy. I took myself out to eat at a salad bar and everyone was just over “it”. I could tell I arrived at the tail-end of a massive rush. The tray stack, normally taller than me, was down to a measly 10 or so in each pile. The people working behind the counters wouldn’t even look up or acknowledge I was there. I got a foccacia bread thrown at me when I asked NICELY if they could please just put the one that was waiting there behind them on the line where people, namely me, could reach it. I heard the kitchen staff slamming things around, and the guy who buses the dining room, (who is normally cheerful), was majorly crabby. I didn’t leave a tip as I usually do, because he was just not worth it today. I don’t know what it is. I think, at least in my area, Christmas was better than it has been in the past three or four years. The spirit seemed to be back a little, though it was still shy. Is it the letdown after the holidays, I wonder?
Oh well, I am sure I can’t snap people out of whatever funk they’re in just because I am bored. I am never on the same page as everyone around me, so I don’t know why I continue to be surprised. I am in the mood to make new friends, and to get to know new people, but others? Nah. They ain’t having it so much. The only thing they want to show me, it seems, is how nicely kept the fingernail on their middle finger is.
Oh, and I have a next door neighbor who is the definition of anal. He made sure he put his Chrismtas lights up the weekend after Thanksgiving, as if there was an appointed time to do it. This morning I heard him hammering about, and yep, sure enough, he was taking them down. The day after New Years day. Nope. Can’t ever accuse that one of being a slacker. I bet over at his house you couldn’t find even a crumb of a Christmas cookie. That is so last year, after all.
Maybe everyone is grumpy because they have to go back to work tomorrow. I always look forward to getting back to work after the holiday slump. It’s a bright new year and the coffee’s great and let’s go get it!! My enthusiasm is met, of course, with cow-eyed stares, as if they were chewing cuds. A blank expression with nary a “whut?” to be hinted behind those vacant gazes.
Gah. I am bored out of my mind.
I do not want anything from you, of you. I only want you to know that I am here. If your world should shatter, and the ragged fragments of your heart, the jagged shards of your soul are what’s left of you, bring them to me. There will be a place for you here.
